“How can you be a heart beater, when you in your own self cannot even find a reason to make your heart beat for some reason.”
“My heart still beats for you.” he said. My thoughts came to think that if his heart beats for me, is there some reason for it not to beat, pump and function if I didn’t came into his life? Does he still breath, or is he even still live?
How clichè it might be knowing that the words “ My heart beats for you.” or “ You make me feel alive.” mostly used when people are inlove. Forgetting how life really works, that seems that our body won’t move without having someone.
I might be somewhat a hero making a his heart beat and I am a reason. But how can I made a man heart beat when I myself wanted to stop my own?
It’s different. Our heart both beats in a human way. We have reasons behind it, but in a different way. He found a person to make himself alive, while mine is just something that showing that I am not dead, it’s just working because I exist. Just exist, barely even breathing and living.
Does the reason behind my barely beating heart is because I don’t have a person to make me feel alive?
I mostly believe that my heart will beat if I myself make it beat. Make it alive and live. I am lost, made me feel like my heart barely beat for some reason, made me wanted to stop on it’s own.
What’s the reason for it to beat? I am not like him. I don’t make my heart beat because of a specific person. That’s not how it works.
I don’t even want to hear my heartbeat as it beats, maybe because it reminds me that I still exist and I fail to make it stop a beat.
I barely breath, mostly cry. I let my heart beat even I wanted it to stop. I want to feel how my heart will take some rest from pumping blood and beating so fast.
My heart is more on functioning rather than beating. I doesn’t beat for someone, but it is functioning for me to stay alive and exist. It does beat for no one. Not even me. Not even him.
I hope one day there is a reason for it to beat and have a reason to not just exist.
